Protect Yourself: Excerpts from The Children's Partnership's Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway

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By Wendy Lazarus and Laurie Lipper Introduction Why Should You Care About Computers and the Information Superhighway? When Is Your Child Ready? Girls: A League of Their Own Some Basic Rules for Parents Things to Do Online with Your Child How Can You Keep Your Child Safe Online? Staying Safe Online: A Young Person's Guide Introduction The information age is arriving at lightning speed. Children and young people are among the most active citizens of the new era, and are often first in their family to use the new media. Some parents and other guardians of young people are enthusiastic about the new technologies; others desperately hope these changes will just go away. However, there is little doubt that computers are here to stay and that they're changing the way young people learn, play, and get ready for their work life. How can a parent teach, when there's so much to learn? This new challenge may seem unlike any other you've faced before as a parent. But, in fact, many of the answers lie in common sense, some basic experience, regular vigilance, and sensible guidelines for children. Table of Contents Why Should You Care About Computers and the Information Superhighway? First, because information literacy skills will increasingly be expected of young people. Young people fluent in information resources will likely have advantages in the workplace. Second, this new resource may hold special educational and other opportunities for your child as the online world can bring diverse experiences to young people. And, finally, more and more children are taking the lead to get online and need strong parental guidance to use this new medium as a rich opportunity for learning. Table of Contents When Is Your Child Ready? Very little formal research has been done to understand how information technology affects children of different ages and when is the "right time" to start various activities. Also, children differ in their development and maturity, so parents should first consider their own child's emotional development and abilities. But common sense, combined with advice from child development experts, suggests some age-appropriate guidelines. Unlike some other areas of a child's growth, a parent should not treat computer use as a development milestone. There are no "shoulds" in this arena like "a child should walk by 15 months." The main thing to keep in mind is that the online world offers children a new set of experiences, another world to explore. It is also a new resource to help satisfy a child's seemingly endless curiosity and find answers to those amazing questions kids constantly come up with. Many of the tips in this section apply to more than one age group. We have placed the tip in the age group where it is first applicable. Ages 2-3: Computers need not play much of a role in the youngest child's life. However, it doesn't hurt for very young children to see family members using computers and enjoying themselves online at a library, at a community center, or at home. At this time, stand-alone computers using CD-ROMs or other software (rather than online activities) are most likely to have what children this age need. Parenting magazines and some nonprofit organizations publish reviews of software that may be helpful. Put your child in your lap as you "play" on the computer. Put your hand on your child's to show him or her the way the mouse works. Children like to play with the equipment: start slowly letting them learn about the keyboard (some are especially designed for children), the mouse, etc. Look for books and children's video programs like Sesame Street that include images of children and family members using a computer. These can provide important exposure and encourage interest. Ages 4-7: While serious computer use isn't a priority for these youngsters, children at this age can begin to make greater use of computer games and educational products. Once again, parents of children this age can look to CD-ROMs and other computer software for early computer learning. Older children in this age group can also begin exploring online children's sections with their parents. This kind of exposure with a young child is a great way for a parent to get involved with new media. Yes, children do learn intuitively and quickly, but at this age they still depend on parents for reading and interpreting directions. This makes a shared computer experience a valuable give and take experience. Spend as much time as you can with your child while he or she uses the computer. Use actual experiences to demonstrate proper behavior and rules. Show lots of tangible results and achievements. For example, print work your child has done on the computer. Share an e-mail address with your child, so you can oversee his or her mail and discuss correspondence. As children go to school, check in with teachers so you can coordinate and reinforce school learning with home learning. Look to librarians and various parenting magazines for suggestions of good online activities. Ages 8-11: This age is when children can begin to directly experience and appreciate more fully the potential of online experiences. Children can begin to use online encyclopedias and download pictures and graphics for school reports. They can also begin to have pen pals from many places, exchanging stories with far-away relatives and online friends, and even doing shared school projects. It is also a very important age to set guidelines, teach values, and monitor closely what children are doing. As children move toward independence, it is important that you stay "hands-on" and help guide them to enriching and appropriate materials. Another important reality is that children of this age are being targeted by programmers and advertisers as an important commercial market. Media literacy, helping children evaluate content and understand what's behind advertising, is an important skill to teach. Set very clear rules for online use and clear consequences if they are broken. Instruct children not to order products or give out information about themselves or their family without your permission. Coordinate home with school activities. Teach children to let you know if they encounter anything scary or unusual online. Help children understand the nature of commercial information and how to think about it. Discuss some of the unique aspects of behavior in cyberspace, like anonymity and what it means for your child and for others. Watch the time. Use an alarm clock or timer if you or your child lose track of time. Watch your phone and credit card bills. Ages 12-14: At this age, young people can use the more sophisticated research resources of the information superhighway, accessing everything from the Library of Congress collection to magazines and newspapers to original letters and archives from around the globe. Similarly, they can work with people in remote places on shared projects and can learn from speaking online to leading authorities on nearly any subject. In addition, many young teenagers are interested in "chatting." Most online commercial services have chat rooms that are appropriate for preteens and teenagers. There, kids can chat (via typing on their computer) to others who share their interests. A parents' job is to stay in as close touch as possible (a tough task at times). Since children this age are more likely to explore on their own, set up clear parental rules, limits, and periodic check-ins. Continue to explore together as much as possible. Give children a basic understanding of the laws governing online behavior and the consequences of breaking them. Set clear rules about time spent in chat groups and which ones are acceptable. Be sure your children understand the actions that can be taken if people harass them online or do anything inappropriate. Set a budget for online expenses and monitor it. Pay particular attention to games that your teenager might download or copy. Many are great fun, but others are extremely violent. Parents need to set limits about what is acceptable and what is not. Ages 15-18: The online world is a rich resource for older teens.They can receive information about job opportunities, internships, and colleges and universities; put together multimedia reports; get specialized help with a foreign language or a subject at school; and find out just about anything else that interests them. They are also ingenious explorers, discovering new areas online and often meeting new friends. Of course, along with teens' increased curiosity, capability, and freedom come more ways to run into unpleasant or undesirable experiences. As with other activities at this age, parents can still find creative ways to keep in touch with their teenage children about online activities, and this connection is still important. Ask your teenager for help researching topics of interest to the family (follow-up on a family discussion, family vacation, a new purchase). Talk to your teenager about new things online and encourage discussion of new experiences. Make sure your teenager knows the legal implications of online behavior. Watch time limits to make sure your teenager is still pursuing a well-rounded set of activities. If your teenager is especially interested in computers, encourage him or her to help younger children with their online explorations (try the local Boys or Girls Club) or to help a school or nonprofit organization get set up. Table of Contents Girls: A League of Their Own As they get older, girls use computers and online opportunities differently than boys. Many girls lose interest because, like with science and math, the computer world is more oriented to males. For example, video games and other software for home computer use are overwhelmingly developed for and marketed to boys. According to a variety of reports: In elementary school, there is little difference between boys' and girls' computer use and ability. By the mid-teen years, when computer courses are typically elective, the gender gap grows and continues to widen through college and graduate school. Three times as many men as women now earn computer science degrees. Girls use home computers for school work more than boys, and use computer games far less. Women are only half as likely to be online as men and half as likely to use the World Wide Web. With so many jobs and much of the culture tapping into computers and information technology, mothers and fathers should do as much as possible to encourage girls' interest and experience with computers. They should be aware that their girls will need these skills as much as boys, and should let schools and computer and content providers know they want material that appeals to girls as well as to boys. Table of Contents Some Basic Rules for Parents For most parents who are just starting with computers there's a simple rule: concentrate on experiencing the new technologies, not necessarily understanding them. You don't need to understand electronics to get cash from an automatic teller machine. You don't have to be able to build a car to drive one. You don't need to understand all that makes up a computer to see how your child will use one. A quick trip to an electronics store, a public library, or an Urban League office can introduce you to computers, a wide variety of software, CD-ROMs, and online networks.People here are used to working with beginners. Once you begin to experience cyberspace, as the online world is called, it gets much easier to navigate. Do Your Homework Learning and playing with new technology can be integrated into your everyday life. When you go to the mall spend ten minutes with the computer display in the toy store or electronics store. Ask your school to set up a parent night or weekend so parents can see and learn. Ask teachers or librarians where in your community you can go to use a computer connected to the Internet. Learn With Your Child Computers can offer one of the best, most fun, and most challenging journeys that parents and children can share. Remember, studies show parental involvement is an important ingredient for educational success. Your goal is to learn and experience as much as possible with your child and make it enjoyable. Be a Good Guide and Monitor Your job (just like in other areas) is to explain, guide, make the rules and enforce them, and keep the whole thing focused on positive learning and fun. One of the best things about this new frontier is that it gives you rich, new opportunities to learn and play together with your child. Here are some tips: Side by Side: You can help your child have a positive and balanced experience with the computer. The best approach is to start the process together. Set aside a regular time to work on the computer with your child. If he or she has had computer experience, let your child take the lead. It can be a great boost for self-confidence, at least for your child! Ask your child to explain what he or she is doing and why. Go down the highway together. Talk with your child about what students are doing on computers at school, whether you have one at home or not. Ask to see what they have created on the computer. And invite friends, yours or your child's, to join in, too. The Time Factor: Since you and your child are already strapped for time, perhaps the first place to look is television time. Family, friends, homework, school, and outside play are all very important for the healthy development of children, so try to shift TV time to computer time. (This shouldn't be that hard: studies show that children who use computers watch less TV.) Monitor Computer Time: Keep the computer in a family area rather than in a child's room, at least to begin with.Keep an eye on the clock, and watch the phone and credit card bills (that's where charges for commercial online services or purchases show up). Check in regularly on what your child is doing. Table of Contents Things to Do Online with Your Child 1. Visit the Library of Congress. Some of the most exciting things at the Library of Congress are the online exhibits, allowing the user to view an art collection or see a special event that is taking place at the Library. While the Library's site is mostly text-based and very good for research of various kinds, its graphics of exhibits are amazing. The site also provides a great beginner's guide to the Internet, more information than most people will ever need, but very thorough and useful. 2. Take a White House tour for kids, one of the most enjoyable things a young child can do online. With a very child-friendly, colorful, and easy-to-navigate layout, the cyber-tour gives a great deal of history and information on the White House and U.S. government in a fun, informative manner. 3. See what the space agency, NASA, has put online. Perhaps best suited for older kids, the NASA site contains information on all of the space agency's programs, an online library for research, and exhibits on recent space phenomena, such as the comets, Hubble Telescope, MIR, and the Galileo spacecraft. If you are interested in the Space Shuttle, there are special pages for all of its missions, including information on weather, orbits, a tour, and a special countdown page. Parents and teachers will find this site truly educational. 4. Visit exhibits from the San Francisco interactive science museum, the Exploratorium. The Exploratorium contains online exhibits that are changed and updated regularly. They are broken down into age categories, so there is something for all children here. Much of the material on the site is on the cutting edge of Web technology. If you have a slow Internet connection, some of this may take a long time to download. Memory tests, optical illusions, audio and video samplings, and a host of experiments to be done online and at home provide hours of educational fun. Table of Contents How Can You Keep Your Child Safe Online? The online world mirrors the real one: it includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And, just like the real world, different parents have different standards for what they want their children to experience. This section is intended to give you a briefing on what you need to know to steer your child to safe, productive, and legal time online. Parents in Charge Parents are increasingly aware that certain information online is not appropriate for children, or is appropriate only for certain ages. Most parents have strong feelings about what their children should be exposed to and are concerned about how easy it is to get to information online. Parents worry about materials that are sexually explicit, violent, racially biased, and overly commercial. The good news is there are now several ways for parents to limit where their children can go online and who can contact them. These technologies and services have limitations and are evolving at a fast pace, so parents need to be alert. At this time, there are three major ways parents can attempt to restrict the material a child experiences online: 1. Use a Commercial Online Service That Offers Parental Control Features. Probably the simplest blocking devices to use, and therefore a good start for a parent new to the online world, are the parental control features offered by commercial online services like America Online, CompuServe, Prodigy, and Microsoft Network. These services provide parental control mechanisms, and they have guidelines for appropriate behavior on their service. Moreover, many of these services have monitors who periodically check on behavior. Users who break the rules can, at a minimum, lose online privileges. Parental control features you might want to look for in deciding whether to use a commercial service and in choosing among them include: Clearly marked areas for children, with plenty of high-quality material that will keep a child engaged and that is screened for objectionable content. A clear set of rules for appropriate online behavior. Parental ability to block out discussion groups, chat rooms, and other areas that might contain objectionable material. Parents' ability to screen their child's e-mail. The blocking device's ability to control Internet and Web access through the commercial service. 2. Install Your Own Parental Control Software Product. There are now a range of parental control software packages that you can purchase and install. Blocking devices can cover Web sites, newsgroups, and chat channels, among other things, and some allow parents to tailor restrictions. Some work with commercial service providers and some are for direct Internet access. Here are some of the approaches that different products use: Some allow a parent or program to block out a specific online site or sites by name. The downside is that the number of sites is vast and constantly changing, so it is virtually impossible for a parent to keep up. However, some parental control programs give the user a regular update of sites and allow parents to choose which ones to block. Some blocking programs identify undesirable sites by searching for unacceptable words before allowing a child access. This list is updated periodically, and parents can purchase or subscribe to the ongoing updates. Some devices can also block entire categories of material such as those deemed suitable for adults only.Parents can enter a key word and block whole Internet features and destinations. Other software actually prevents children from giving out personal information online. This can be helpful for safety and to protect against exploitation of children. Still other devices restrict the time of day and duration of children's online sessions, and make certain areas of the Parents' hard drive inaccessible. Some Blocking Devices You Can Buy* Below is a list of some of the products on the market, including the names and phone numbers for ordering guides. Cyber Patrol Call 1-800-489-2001 for information. CYBERsitter Call 1-800-388-2761 for information. Net Nanny Call 1-800-340-7177 for information. Be Sure to Find Out: Whether the product has the protection features you are looking for Whether the product can be used on the type of computer you have Whether there is a subscription fee after you've bought the product Whether the product works on commercial service providers, only on a direct Internet connection, or both 3. Use PICS (Platform for Internet Content Selection). The World Wide Web Consortium, an industry consortium which develops common standards for the Web by producing specifications and reference software, is backed by many of the biggest online commercial companies. The Consortium has created a new way to help parents discern and restrict content for children. These "online protocols," called PICS, create a common language for labeling material on the Web. This means that different organizations, such as religious, civic, and educational groups, can issue ratings or guidelines (a labeling system) that a parent can use. This feature enables parents to use guidelines prepared by the organizations they trust. This new technology, along with guidelines from organizations, is expected to become more available. For further information, visit the Web site of the World Wide Web Consortium or call (617) 253-2613. Other promising new products are under development, such as a v-chip for online activities. This new generation of devices could give parents even more effective options for controlling what their children have access to online. Safety Tips for A New Medium Although rare, there have been incidents where individuals have used the Internet to contact children and young people with the intent of harming them. Just like teaching a child to drive a car, you need to provide your child with some tools to help him or her stay safe. The common sense rules about caution with strangers apply just as strongly in cyberspace as in playgrounds or parks. This chapter will help you teach your children the important rules of the road. There are several simple rules of safety that you and your child should agree on before going online. It might be a good idea to post these right by the computer. Who to Call if You Have a Problem With Behavior Online If you or your child are the victim of harassment or other trouble online, contact your commercial or Internet service provider immediately. Commercial online services have strict terms of service that help protect you and your child in the event you encounter offensive behavior. Offenders can have their accounts terminated, and service providers usually will cooperate with authorities when there is the possibility that a crime has been committed. You can also call The Center for Missing and Exploited Children, which offers materials and assistance for parents whose children are at risk. Your Child's Best Online Guide and Best Protection Is Always You Your involvement in your child's online life is always the best insurance you can have of his or her safety. The most reliable strategy is to set aside a time each day or each week when you do online activities together. Learn with your children about fun things to do as well as about what to stay away from that makes you a partner in the experience, rather than a resented censor. Table of Contents Staying Safe Online: A Young Person's Guide ALWAYS tell your parents or another adult immediately if something is confusing or seems scary or threatening. DON'T give out your full name, real address,telephone number, school name or location, schedule, password, or other identifying information when you're online. Check with an adult for any exceptions. NEVER have a face-to-face meeting with someone you've met online. In rare cases, your parents may decide it's OK, but if you do decide to meet a cyberpal, make sure you meet in a public place and that a parent or other adult is with you. NEVER respond online to any messages that use bad words or words that are scary, threatening, or just feel weird. If you get that kind of a message, print it out or make a copy, and tell an adult immediately. Many services have an "ignore" button that will stop an uncomfortable situation in live chats. Adults should contact the online service or appropriate agency. NEVER go into a new online area that is going to cost additional money without first asking permission from your parent or teacher. NEVER send a picture over the Internet or via regular mail to anyone without your parents' permission. DON'T give out a credit card number online. For more information and for answers to specific questions related to this guide, be sure to visit the Children's Partnership website. This guide is Copyright 1996. The Children's Partnership. Last update: Jan 5, 2004 Related Article: Safety Tips Explore More: Search the Web Learn the Net (www.learnthenet.com) is Copyright 1996-2008. Michael Lerner Productions. All Rights Reserved.